Work With Me
You are good enough just the way you are...
and you have some work to do.
Maybe you feel...
- Afraid of slowing down and falling behind, so you work more and you work harder, but never really feel like you’re done.
- Exhausted, empty and anxious most or all of the time.
- Lonely because you’re hiding who you really are. If others really knew you, they wouldn’t like you. So you hide in plain sight.
Maybe you tell yourself...
- I have to try harder, do better, work more and then I’ll finally be good enough.
- If I can’t succeed, I won’t even try. I can’t risk failing.
- I’m not good enough, thin enough, rich enough, educated enough, productive enough and when others find out, I’ll be less acceptable.
But here's what's true...
- Perfectionism is our culture’s “favorite flaw” and you get validation because of it, but that validation comes at a high price.
- Being a perfectionist does NOT mean you have high standards, it is based in insecurity and a fear of being judged or criticized.
- Perfectionism is a relationship issue and is rooted in shame.
It all starts to make sense
Hello, my name is Tina, and I’m a recovering perfectionist.
Maybe you can relate. Afterall, we live in a society where perfectionism is celebrated and expected. It’s driven by the consumer-driven media, by well-meaning parents and teachers, and by our biological desire to be accepted and belong.
We hear messages like:
- Just do your very best all of the time.
- You’re super talented.
- You must be doing something right to have your life.
But all of these messages are damaging to our mental, emotional, and physical health.
Research has shown that people with high levels of perfectionism continue to persevere long beyond what is comfortable or healthy, for fear they will be rejected or disapproved of if they don’t.
If you want to know why so many people are struggling mentally, look to perfectionism. It contributes to afflictions such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and self-harm.
In fact, we all suffer from perfectionism. It’s not a “you have it or you don’t” type of thing, it’s a “how much does it affect you” kind of thing.
If you’re naturally a high-achiever, don’t allow yourself to take in your own successes or compliments from others, and you are internally beating yourself up, you have high levels of perfectionism.
Here’s what you need to know:
- Your worth doesn’t change whether you succeed or fail.
- Your worth is infinite and unchanging just because you exist.
- No one can increase or decrease your worth, not even you.
You are just like everyone else on this earth – you are worthy of love and belonging, and you’re a flawed human being who has some work to do.
The answer is not to just change the way you’re thinking about yourself. You’ve developed into a perfectionist because it was the best way you learned how to get love and approval. Your brain won’t give that up easily!
I’ve created a coaching program for YOU and your journey.
Don’t you wish you could wave a magic wand and magically make everyone behave exactly how you want them to?
Yep, me too
But we have this thing called agency and everyone gets to choose for themselves.
No magic wand for me or for you.
I can’t change your child.
What I can do is help you to feel stronger in your own life; to feel grounded in your own body and have confidence in who you are.
Releasing them from providing this for you is a gift to them and a gift to you.
Doing this work is the work you came to this earth to do.
I’m a certified family relationship coach with LDS values.
I know it’s my life’s calling to help people with their individual faith challenges and the challenges changing beliefs present in family relationships. I’ve felt drawn to this for many years.
If this is you and your family, I’m here to help you find your strength through all of it.
If you feel lost, afraid, confused, judged, or like a failure, you’re in the right place.
You haven’t failed and there is hope.
I’m inviting you to develop a new, stronger version of yourself. A version of you that is confident on the outside and peaceful on the inside.
If you’re ready for that, let’s talk.